goodbye to my mushroom love/ bbbdddaaayyy ggooooddbbyyee

............................................................................

i don't what to write.

well, it's my update for this month.

today is mushroom's birthday.

i have plans for today, but i guess it won't happen anymore.

i haven't even greeted him a happy birthday.

it's not that i don't feel like greeting him, it's just that, after all those memories, there's still no improvement between the two o us.

we are still not friends but a complete stranger.

and i realized that, even if i greet him, it would still be the same.

no response from him. or a simple thank you.

so it would be just a waste of time and effort.

so no more birthday greetings from me for him.

and i've decided to stop this foolishness completely.

i'm giving up on him.

want i want from now, is to be friend s with him, but if that wont happen either, it's okay.

i've got used to it. :)

well, good luck to me and to him and to all of us, :)

also today. im ending my mushroom love.

this may be my last post here in my blog "me and my mushroom love."

i had fun writing this blog , my memories and happenings with him.

but everything has their own endings at their own time. :)

i will start a new blog, there i will write my stories instead in wattpad directly. :)

hope i would have many readers in my next blog. :)

good bye to my mushroom love. :)

--savina :) <3

i was alone.

hay. today made me quite sad.

supposedly, me and mushroom together with jorge are assigned to attend a seminar.

but then, i was left alone. if sarah was not able to go too, it would be only me who would be there.

i texted both jorge and mushroom, where are they na? but no one replied.

well, jorge replied but it was too late, it is already at the middle of the seminar, so it's no use, if he still come. and well, mushroom didnt even send me one text. atleast just tell me that he wont make it. atleast i didnt expect that we would be coming.

well, today made me realize that, he just dont care if im alone or not. and that i should not bother to wait anymore for him. just a single text would do, but then, he still didnt send one.

well, i guess it would be time to stop waiting for him. that no matter what i do, i wont be a part of him, or he wont notice and be concerned with me. :((

by the way, in the first weeks of our class, i was happy. why? because, we're seatmates. we seat close to one another. no between us. i thought that would be the start of our friendship, but then, i never fail to disappoint myself. hay. :(

--sakuralove :(

a day with mushroom. :)

june 8, 2011

wednesday

i had so much fun with you today. we are in the same room playing and orienting the first years. :)

i dont know but im happy. i dont feel anything else. i just really wanted to be your friend. i hope you feel the same way.

today, we leaned on the same wall. together with jorge. watching the videos presented by the speakers. and yet jorge keeps on leaving both of us alone. i was happy. i really wanted to talk to you that time. have a friendly conversation. yet, i still cant. no words came out of my mouth. and realize we still cant be friends.

but still i had fun with you there. touring around the school with you and the others, it feels like we are both touring together. haha.

i hope next time, we can talk to each other casually. let's be open with each other and be friends. :) we are running out of time. we are almost in the half of 5 years being together.

i was planning can we have a whole semester of letters? writing to each other everyday.

--sakuralove :) ♥

a dream of you means see you tomorrow

hi!

it's been a while since i last updated.

well, last night, i unexpectedly dreamed of you, mushroom.

2 dreams with you in it. to be honest, i was not expecting it. i wasn't thinking of you before i fall asleep or even all through the day. haha.

the first dream was a dream na laging putol at lagi ko napapanaginipan. pero last night, nabuo at complete ung dream na un. nag tataka ako kun bakit ganun.

here's the story for the first dream. i cant remember everything since it's my first dream last night and i was disturbed by my sister.

it was like a party, a birthday party to be exact, i don't know if it is yours or someone in your family, but me and our classmates were all invited. then, some of our classmates was going to tell you something na makakasira sakin, something like that, so i decided to talk to you personally and explain things, so you wont believe them. in my dream, i was not able to explain all the things yet you already had a conclusion. after talking, we went out to see our classmates and the others hand in hand. so weird right? we walked somewhere else then we arrived in place that it so weird and so creepy. then, we were able to fly now. see, so typical of a dream. we can fly. wee! haha. i dont remember what happened next. maybe i woke that time. so it's still unfinished.

see, too much for a dream. haha

my 2nd dream was you and me together again with our classmates, i don't remember all the details. what i can remember is that we were in a classroom, doing a math problem. you are sitting next to someone. like this: me - someone - you. then, our prof gave us an assignment and let us copy it. but i wasnt able to copy the assignment because i was busy doing the seatwork. then, unexpectedly, you talked to me, asking if i already copied the assignment. i said no, then you said " cge ikokopyana lang kita." you got my notebook and write there the assignment and you even answered it.

then the next scene, was we are enrolling for the next school year. and validating our ids.

you were there again, but i dont remember what happened. i think we fought again? not so sure. then again, i can fly again. wow ha! pwede na akong maging peter pan. haha un. ndi o na maxado maalala eh.

by the way, tomorrow will be your enrollment day. i am hoping to see you. i think my dreams telling me that i am missing you, and that i will see you tomorrow.

hay. antagal na nating ndi nagkikita. I'M MISSING YOU MUSHROOM.

ndi ka manlang umaatend ng mga meeting natin sa org. madami na gawain noh. tsk. so you better set your goals and priorities and even you schedules! okay? hehe.

so i think MY DREAMS OF YOU last night MEANS SEE YOU TOMORROW. :)

--sakuralove :)

staying here with me :)

hiyiiie!

its been 2 months since last kong update. :)

from my last post na, say no goodbye, i was devastated now i'm super happy.

and yess! from the title itself, he's staying here with me.

MY MUSHROOM'S STAYING NA! :))

so happy!

sorry readers kung late tong update ko.

actually nalaman kong ndi na sya lilipat nung march 28 kasi nagkita kami sa school that time.

grabe. at guess what? confirmed na din sya sa org namin. sya na talaga ang representative namin sa class. :)

oh diba? magkasama na kami ulit. :)

matutuloy na din kaya ang lovestory namin? sana naman. :)

and may isa pa that day, march 28, nalaman kong may connection talaga kami. kasi nung 27 nung gabi, nabanggit ko kina mama na magkakalayo na kami, nung sinabi ko ung surname nya, sabi ni mama kung ang tatay ba daw nya ay isang official sa base. kilala nga daw nya un.

at kilala nya din si mushroom, kaya sabi ni mama baka daw magclassmate kami ni mushroom nung nursery to prep. prep not so sure. bsta those days.

we went to same school. oh diba? destiny diba? haha. :)

pero alam nyo, nagtataka ako bakit parang biglang nagbago isip nya na magstay.

though nakapasa na sya dun, mageenrol na lang sya at kukuha ng papers, pero sabi naayos na din un.

hindi kaya nabasa nya tong blog ko? (malabo, pero pwede?)

or kaya ayaw nya na malayo sakin kasi mamimis nya ako? whahaha (mas malabo. assuming nanaman ako. xD )

or kasi naisip nya may responsibilidad syang maiiwan sa klase at sa org namin. (sya ito na lang, katanggap tanggap na dahilan. )

pero kahit na ganun, masaya ako at thankful kasi hindi na sya aalis. hay.

sana hanggang fifth year magkakasama kami. :)

kasi naman mushroom, ang gulo gulo mo. you always make me feel hurt and happy.

sana sa pasukan mag improve na relationship natin. ung friendship natin. okay?

befriended me so my feelings go away, unless ayaw mo mawala feelings ko sayo.

toinks. haha :)

bye bye for now. :)

--sakuralove :) ♥♥

say no goodbye. :(

march 25,2011

natapos na nga klase, summer na!
pero imbis na mag saya, bakit ganun?
nalulungkot ako. masaya na sana dahil ayos kinalabasan ng exam ko, at nag enjoy ako, kasama mga kaibagan ko, pero un pala, mabobroken heart ako.

bakit aalis ka na? akala ko hanggang 5th year na un. akala ko, pag dating ng mga taon pang natitira, makakapag usap na tayo ng normal or okay na ung pakikitungo mo sakin? pero un pala mas worst pa. tuluyan ka ng mawawala. andaya mo naman eh.

andaya daya mo.
nakagawa ka na ng plano, ng ndi ka nagsasabi sa klase. tapos ngaun last day, saka pa malalaman. grabe. ang saya mo. sana nun pa lang nagsabi ka na. para atleast, napaghandaan ung pag alis mo. importante ka naman sa klase eh. antagal na din kaya ng pinagsamahan. nakakaasar eh.

hay. ewan, ndi ko na maintindihan nararamdaman ko. hay.
nalulungkot ako sobra, ewan, biglaan kasi, tapos baka ndi na kita makita. andaya naman kasi eh.
pero sabagay, anu nga ba ang magagawa namin, kung ikaw na mismo ang may gusto. future mo naman yan eh. kaya nasayo ang desisyon kung anu ba talaga.

pero magpapapigil ka ba? ndi ka ba malulungkot na iiwan mo na kami? wala ka naman paki alam sakin, kaya kahit sa kanila na lang. ndi ka ba nalulungkot? ndi ka na ba talaga magpapapigil? wala na bang ibang choice or option?
baby please dont go - mike posner

panu kung wala na talaga? ito na ung last na magkikita tayo? eh di last na, ndi man lang tau naging friends. hay, mushroom. kahit sa text man lang, ndi ka nagreply. aalis ka na lang ba ng walang pasabi? masaya un, haha, napakamushroom mo talaga.

mamimiss kita. magbabago ako para pag nagkita tau ulit, iba na ako. hehe. kaya ko un, kakayanin ko un. hay. maghihintay ako? ewan. kung kaya eh. kung ikaw talaga ay para sakin eh.

hahayaan ko na lang ang destiny na ang gumawa ng paraan.


ang aga naman natapos ng love story natin, ndi man lang umabot sa climax or happy ending. haha, ganun talaga ata eh. patikim lang. haha.

masaya ako nakilala kita, kahit u seem so familiar to me. cguro childhood friend na kita, ndi ko lang maalala, pero ang tanda ko, nakita na kita sa panaginip at alam kong nag eexist ka bago pa kita makita at nakilala nung first year tau. :)

so good luck sa new life at school
and GOOD BYE?
ndi pala dapat good bye,
dapat ...

SEE YOU SOON MUSHROOM :)


--sakuralove :)

secret gift.

hay. hay. hay.

i just want to share, para in case na mabasa mo to, alam mo na. haha

alam mo bang may gift ka na tanggap na galing sakin? un ung shirt na kunwaing bigay sau ni ken. sakin un talaga galing. kasi ako ang nakabunot sau nung christmas, kaya lang, pinalit ko na lang kay ken, kasi ndi nman nya kilala si sir noli eh. pero ako parin nman ang humili ng lahat ng gift eh.

sana nman ginagamit mo, un shirt na un, nung nakita ko, ikaw agad ang naalala ko. ndi man un ganun ka special pero at least ikaw ang nakita ko agad dun. hay.

sana nman mabasa mo to agad, baka mamaya napamigay mo na ung shirt na un, or ndi mo pinahalagahan na.

makita ko lang un, na suot mo kahit isang beses, okay lang. wala nakakaalam na sakin un galing, aside sa mga kasabwat ko. wag mo na alamin,kung sino un. haha.

basta un ay secret gift. salamat nga pala, ginagamit mo ung binigay kong sumbrero, buti na gustuhan mo un, or atleast may color na gusto mo.

may kwento din un. haha.

you wanna know?

ung cap na un, gustong gusto kong bilhin, na pang gift agad. nasa mannequin un nakasuot that time, kaya pinakuha ko pa talaga un. last one na kasi un eh. haha. oh diba. ang cute cute nga nung cap na un. kung pwede lang ndi ibigay eh, pero ndi namn ako nag cacap eh. kaya sau na lang. hmm. buti nga ginagamit mo un eh. sa iniingatan mo din un. para namn maganda.

matutuwa ako kung ganun.

un lang. gusto ko lang malaman mo. haha. para mapahalagahan mo ung mga binibigay ko.

--sakuralove :)